I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
