were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
