Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
