Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Randomize
