elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
