once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
