Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
