she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
