I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
