somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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