And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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