The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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