Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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