When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
