What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
