it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Everything about him screamed your future.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
