Everything about him screamed your future.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My dick has a subreddit
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
