Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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