So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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