I'm sorry my penis didn't work
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
