i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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