I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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