Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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