i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
