and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
