She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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