Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
