please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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