A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
