he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
