you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
