So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
