New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize