operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
