theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You're a waste of cheezeits
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
