and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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