You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
