so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
