Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
