He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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