We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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