All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
