I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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