your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
