LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
