and she was petting her beer can
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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