his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
