I think i peed on brittanys purse
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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