It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
