My sheets look like a crime scene.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
